Episode 9: Normalizing The Conversation Of Sexuality

Today I want to riff on the idea of normalizing the conversation around sexuality.

What does that even mean? So often when I talk to people and they say, what do you do? And I answer the question with, I am a sex coach. People will either lean in and say, Ooh, tell me more about that. Or they get, tend to shy away and get highly uncomfortable with the conversation. This is something that has always fascinated me is what are people's reaction to this idea of sex and sexuality. As a society, we tend to put sexuality in this box that we take all of these different thoughts and perceptions and ideas and how we were raised in religion and what we see on TV or in romantic movies. And it shapes our perception of what sex and sexuality is. For many people. This idea, this box is filled with shame and guilt and frustration and lack of awareness and fear.

When we start to take out this box, we dust it off. We open up the box and we start to remove all of these past ideas and experiences and conversations and things that we may have experienced over our life. And we can remove some of these experiences and we start to look at the energy, the energy of our sexuality. We can feel it's foundational, fundamental, thriving energy that is at our core, this creative life force energy that makes up who we are and how we show up in life. If we can start to honor this sexuality and this energy, then we get to start to connect deeply with soul centered sensuality and sexuality. If we can start to normalize the conversation of sexuality, how do we start to remove the shame, the guilt, the taboos and stigma that surrounds sex and sexual.

We first have to reflect for ourself. What does it, does it mean where did we learn about sexuality? Where does this idea come from? And when we can start to break it down and focus on the energy and what we want our relationship with our sexuality to feel like we get to choose that's our choice. If we are tired of feeling shame and guilt and frustration around this idea of sexuality, start to identify what you want it to feel like, what do you want this energy to be in association with? And every aspect of our life, sexuality is a fundamental component of our lives. It's who we are and how we show up in our natural essence and energy. But sexuality is also a foundational component in our relationship. It is a physical act and brings life into the world where you come from.

When we can start to normalize this conversation, make it something that is a safe container to discuss an openly and judgment free, really embrace. Then we get yeah. To connect on deeper levels. Sexuality is this curious and intriguing and just fascinating component of so many of our lives that we want to know more. This is where we are lacking in education and accessibility and just awareness of it, of what sex and sexuality really is and how it can impact our lives. So if you're starting to consider removing some of the shame and guilt from your life around sexuality, no that you are in good company. We are seeing some of the most beautiful and inspiring innovations in the world of sexuality and sexual wellness and being more inclusive because one of my favorite thoughts is that there are as many sexualities as there are human beings and your sexuality is exactly perfect for you.

How do you start to embrace it and honor it, and really start to integrate what a healthy sexual relationship looks like for you? So this brings up an interesting, interesting topic of conversation. When we start to think about sexual health and sexual wellness, and what does this mean and how does this show up in the world? So most people, when we start to think about sexual health, we instantly go to, am I broken? What's wrong with me? Is there a dysfunction or an STI or something that is typically associated with a more negative connotation? When we look at sexual wellness, how do we start to embrace this idea that it's not something that needs to be talked in the bottom shelf next to the pharmacy and the drug store, but really starting to embrace what I think of as sexual well being. So this is a common discussion.

When we think about just wellness versus wellbeing, what does that mean? What is the difference? Wellness tend. People tend to think of physical exercise and eating well and self care, but really the idea of wellbeing is the intersection between mind, body, soul, and spirit. So how can we start to embrace this idea of sexual well being, it is a fundamental component of our lives, of our relations of how we show up in life. Sexual wellbeing starts with your choice of how you associate with this energy. Do you tighten and tense and fear step back and fear of the idea of sexuality, or do you flow and embrace and honor all of the different options that you have and possibilities that you can open into your world through this idea of sexuality. There's so many opportunities for us to create more accessibility to sexuality. And this is our magical opportunity.

How do we start to create accessibility and containers that are going to honor the honor, the conversations and create a safe space for people to explore? There's so much to be curious about when it comes to sexuality, thinking about just the general awareness and education that exists in our lives. Most of us don't even learn about healthy sexual relationships from a body mind spirit component. And so to be able to create this opportunity to dive into these conversations creates more fluidity and passion and flow and honoring of both ourselves and our partners and that ripples out into the energy of the planet. As we can start to break down the taboos, the shame and start to normalize those conversation, we have a beautiful opportunity to raise the next generation of consciousness of sexuality, starting these conversations with our children as young people, growing up with the idea that our sexuality is sacred and we can honor our body for its unique color and folds and shape and lines and curves, giving us the power and the confidence to show up as the beautiful, perfect human being that we are.

We also have to think about how we are raising our sexual consciousness as adults. If we want to raise our children with a different perspective, we have to have the courage to have these conversations. We as adults need to look at our past conditioning and beliefs and thoughts and behaviors and say, what is this next idea of sexuality that I want to embrace, that I want to integrate, that I want to embody so that I can set the example for the next generation. This is our tasks. As we move forward every single day in life, how do we start to challenge our past beliefs, our past expectations and start to embrace this new expression of how we want to show up. This is something that I'm so passionate about is how do we create a container to have these conversations. I want to be this safe space to start to normalize the conversation of sexuality and be a resource for people to ask questions and get curious and know that there is no place for judgment or shame or guilt.

I'm so honored to bringing this work onto the planet. And I'm so honored for you to be brave, rave enough, to have the conversations, to embrace it. And to really embody this as a part of who you are at the core, your foundation, your fundamental expression is up to you. And if you want to feel free and inspired and creative and impact passionate, that choice is yours. You get to embrace pleasure in all areas of your life and so this is where I want to create an entry point and a doorway for these conversations through this podcast, I want to be able to offer a space, to answer questions and share openly about what your greatest curiosities and desires may be. For many people that I speak with and work with in my coaching containers, there is just a general lack of awareness to nobody's fault, but the current time.

If we can start to normalize these conversations, create the container and the accessibility to spread the education and awareness of the power of sexuality and the beauty and the, the ability to affect all areas of our life. Then we get to learn and grow as individuals and as human beings on this planet. Please reach out to me and answer, ask any questions that I may answer for you. This is a beautiful opportunity to create a safe space, to be on the front lines of having these conversations in an inclusive and supportive and encouraging way.