As we get into today's episode, we are on to the art of oral sex part two honoring. Now this is the third episode in a really delicious three part series. We started off on the Sexy Soul Series with Kelsey Valletta giving you a high level overview of giving and receiving oral stacks And the last episode you heard was all about the art of oral sex honoring. As we start to talk about honoring, this is something that I love to discuss.
As always as with a lot of sexual topics, people aren't talking about it so I want to take a moment just to honor that people don't always love giving head or receiving head. I do want to speak a little bit to the language that I'm going to be using. My experience is mostly in a heterosexual cis-gender relationships so the language that I will use most is man, and woman owner and this is a fully inclusive conversation. The energy is always inclusive And if you have questions of how this specifically applies to you, please don't hesitate to reach out. We want to start off by thinking about the purpose of why we are giving or receiving oral sex for our owners. This is about honoring more than just pleasure. It's about worshiping the man for his purpose and his presence, how he shows up in the world. So when we start to think about men, we often think about their lingam, which is their pillar of light.
When we can honor the man for his full purpose and presence for how he shows up in the world, we are honoring so much more than his entire being. When we start to think of the Sanskrit word for, which is lingam, that literally means pillar of light. When we are connecting with soul center in sexuality and in the art of giving oral sex, we are truly honoring this man's direct connection to God, his pillar of light. This is his place of divine consciousness and how he connects to God and the presence beyond him to that divine masculine consciousness that is never changing. When we are thinking of the art of oral sex and we are honoring, this is something to keep in mind as one of our foundations, just as it is when we talk about the art of honoring too.
If you are the owner, you need to know what feels good for you. What is that pleasure sensation that you enjoy the most? And if you go back to a previous episode called honoring your self pleasure practice that came out at the end of may, that's a great resource for you to start to listen to what is your current relationship with your? If your masturbation process is currently only focused on getting off and reaching the goal of orgasm, I invite you to build a relationship with your that slows down, that expands you into different sensations, different types of touch for you to start to explore because when we start to think about the art of oral sex, moving into this act of honoring, we are moving through the mindset that it's all about orgasm.
When we think about most common perspectives of giving head often it's about reaching an immediate goal of, but here we want to focus on pleasure over pressure, knowing that it is okay, that orgasm isn't always the goal. So when we start to think about the art of receiving oral sex, this is for my owners. If you are the one receiving this, I want you to always as always start to explore your current perspectives and your past experiences, reflecting on purpose. Why do you want to receive oral sex? Why do you want to receive head? What intentions do you have when you are receiving, maybe your intentions are to simply relax into pleasure and feel honored, and then start to reflect on what's the impact when you receive head and you're in that state of receiving, how is that going to make you feel now just like women, men also carry a lot of body shame.
If you are a owner and you experience body shame know that you are not alone. A lot of men experience shame around what their size is, the shape, the angles, what it looks like and know that as an individual, that is your connection to source. That is your pillar of light and connection to divine consciousness. And it is perfect as it is. And if your partner wants to be giving you oral sex, that means they find you sexy. They're already turned on about it. As you're doing this reflection, this is a beautiful opportunity to dive deeper into your own reflections of your relationship with your car and share that with your partner. It's okay to communicate any vulnerabilities that you may have or past experiences that you may have experienced. That would be really helpful for your partner to know in this moment.
As you are receiving, one of the most beautiful things to remember is to just enjoy it, to focus on receiving the pleasure and how you can breathe into that pleasure in every element and every cell of your being. Because the art of honoring is about honoring so much more than just the physical body. It's about honoring the man for his purpose and his presence and how he shows up in the world. So when you're thinking about now, the art of giving head now, most people would think that it's something that you automatically know how to do. I know when I first started exploring with giving head, it was kind of intimidating and maybe a little bit scary because I didn't know what to do. I don't have a. I don't know what feels good when I touch it. With any type of sexual act that we are giving to our partners, it's okay to know that it takes practice.
It has taken me many years of perfecting the art of giving head. And it's something that I have absolutely come to enjoy as the giver. One of the foundations of your art of honoring cock is to, of course, reflect on your purpose, intention and impact of your beliefs around being the giver. What past experiences have you had? I know I've coached quite a few women who feel a lot of anticipation around giving head, maybe because they felt pressured by their partner or they've maybe had their head pushed down when they weren't ready. There's lots of different experiences that you can have as the giver. And the more that you can reflect on your purpose, intention and impact of how you're going to give oral sex in this moment is the most important thing that you can do. If you are shifting that experience and moving into a place of honoring the man for his purpose and his presence and honoring his entire being and his energy, it can make the art of giving that much more pleasurable for yourself and communicate to your partner that you don't want there to be any type of pressure.
Reflect on how you want to go about your art of giving. Remember, enthusiasm is so important, so you should only be giving head if you actually want to. If you feel like you don't really enjoy giving head, this is an opportunity for you to reflect, to say, isn't it because you don't enjoy it, or is it because you've had some past experiences or beliefs that have maybe clouded your current experience? I invite you into opening your mind as the, as the giver to say, what could this be if you are more than just giving head, but you are honoring the man, you are honoring his purpose and his presence and his. So this is the full perspective of thinking about your mindset when it comes to the art of giving as always community cation is so, so, so important.
Making sure you're communicating with your partner before you dive into oral sex, especially if there's any hesitation from either the giver or the receiver will help there be an ease and flow and open connection of energy. The first tip to think about in the art of giving is communication. Being able to say, as the giver to the receiver, I want you to lie back and receive pleasure. I don't want you to feel pressured or any need to return the favor. I just want you to enjoy this. It's also great to communicate any preferences, any types of touch or particular areas or asking questions before you start giving to say, are there any types of touch or areas that are completely off limits to honor boundaries and consent, or are there any types of touch or areas that you're craving you pay attention to?
When you can have that foundation of communication, it creates a sense of ease. Now, as you are actually giving oral sex, and you're in the art of honoring the, remember that your presence is so powerful. Pay attention to his breath, to the sounds that he makes to how his body responds and the energy that he is giving you. It can be beautiful for you to start off, but honoring his by placing one hand on his and one hand on his heart and taking a few deep breaths, because it will ground him by having your hand on his and it will center you. So when we talk about positive and negative pulls of giving and receiving pleasure, it's important to remember that owners have a positive pole in their. Again, that's how they show up in their purpose and their presence to the world where women's positive ho positive pole is in their heart space.
As we are giving pleasure to a man, to a owner, we want to always bring that connection back to his and our presence will bring awareness. The other, the next tip to think about after communication and presence is to go slow. It's not always about rushing to the finish line and rushing right to right to the goal of orgasm. Anticipation is good for everyone just as we in the feminine bodies like to beg for our pleasure. We love the anticipation. It's okay for you to give similar pleasure to a owner as well. As we talked about those positive and negative poles, it's really important to pay attention to a man's. When we are actually giving him oral sex, whether that's using your hands, having some sort of grounding touches, you were pulling this pleasure out to other parts of his body to get, build that anticipation.
If you are kissing his neck or down his chest or his belly, keep your hand on to just let him know that you are going there and you are giving that kind of pleasure and attention in the moment, but slowing down and bringing pleasure to his whole body will be a great way for you to start to move that energy through his entire body. Now, as you are giving oral sex, think about paying attention to the whole. You want to be able to lick him from the base of his shaft, all the way up to the tip. Now, this isn't all about bobbing up and down on his whole or deep throating as porn may like you to think, but there are so many different types of touch that you can explore with your tongue, with your lips, with your hands.
There's different speeds and pressure, and it's okay to use your hands while you are giving oral sex. Especially if the man has a large, you may want to use your hands to help you continue to give pleasure. A man's most sensitive part of his is the tip. Paying attention, circling your tongue around the tip, giving extra attention to his frenulum on the base. Underneath his tip of his is a great pleasure focused area. And being able to honor the man in all of his spaces, don't forget to pleasure his balls, but also know that they could be sensitive. So explore different types of touch with your hands or your mouth that he might enjoy. Know that paying attention to his whole and honoring it, pleasuring it, looking at sucking it, kissing it, making love to his. You want to think about using your mouth as a way to connect to his presence, honoring him for how he shows up in the world, how he lives his purpose, and is connected to the divine masculine.
You are honoring his whole. It's okay to use words and say, I love the way your feels in my hands. I love how hard your is. I love the way you taste, being able to express that love and affection and acknowledgement to your owner feels just as good as it does for a woman or a owner who is receiving oral sex. The other thing that is often overlooked when it comes to giving oral sex is don't forget to use loop. The is not self lubricating like a, so it's okay to lube it up and you can use different types of lubrication that actually tastes good. This will feel good in your hands, in your mouth, making sure your lips are extra soft using a really nice lube, like a coconut oil is a really great way to create more flow and ease in giving oral sex.
If you ever have questions, please don't hesitate to ask me. So don't forget to loop it up. And as you are giving pleasure, remember to honor his whole and that's honoring him his whole presence, his whole purpose, and how he shows up in the world. So as you are giving, let him see your pleasure. Not only should you give him a great view so he can see your breasts, your, your body, let him enjoy the visual scene of you giving him head, but also make eye contact with him. This can be highly erotic and super central to let him see your pleasure through your eyes. And when we talk about sexual energy, we always want to come back to the idea of breath, sound, and movement. So as you are giving head to a owner, you can think about humming or making the sound of mm, with his in your mouth.
The art of giving oral sex is such a delicious turn on, and it can be highly erotic when you are coming with the right purpose and intentions and impact so again, when we are giving oral sex, when we're honoring a man's, it's not always about reaching the goal of orgasm. And should he be coming close to orgasming? It's important to remember not to shift or change your speed, your pressure and your intensity, because that will bring him all the way up to the brink of orgasm.
When it comes to giving head, do you spit or do you swallow? This is a personal preference and know that each man tastes different and whatever your personal preference is, is okay. If you're a comfortable swallowing, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's a beautiful, healthy, and powerful seed to be able to swallow. If you are more comfortable, spitting it out, you can either spit into a towel. You can spit it back on his kind of belly area. It's whatever you are most comfortable with, or even if you want to discreetly get up and run, go over to the bathroom to spit out in a sink or a toilet is totally okay, too. After the man reaches orgasm and orgasm is not always so the man may actually make the choice to orgasm without, which is another great option.
If you are going to pleasure him beyond the point of orgasm. Once he has reached that point, or when you feel like your worship session coming to an end, no, that he is going to be very sensitive. Just give a little love and tender care to him. It's okay for you to cuddle up. And you may wonder, you may ask your partner what his preference is. If he has a preference of kissing you afterwards, or if you would prefer that you rinse your mouth out, whatever your preference is, should you, if you've had in your mouth, but after care is always some things so important to pay attention to. Making sure that he feels honored and loved and respected just as you, as the giver feels honored for the act that you just did for him. As you are considering the whole perspective of the art of oral sex honoring a, no, there is so much to this.
There's so much to learn, to experience, to enjoy, and it's okay. It takes practice. I am so curious to know what your thoughts are. If you have any great tips that you really love in the act of giving or receiving oral sex, please don't hesitate to share them with me. I want to know all the juicy and delicious details and if you want more information, if this opened up some things that you are curious about, please schedule a call with me so that we can dive in to make sure that you are giving and receiving the best oral sex of your life.
During today's episode I talk about:
In light, in love, and in gratitude, K