Episode 42: Honoring the Energetics of Dating

Uncategorized May 17, 2021

Honoring the Energetics of Dating

This is Soul Saturations, the podcast, a transformational container to activate the light within you.

I'm really excited to riff with you for just a moment. We are going to talk all about honoring the energetics of dating. I was just coaching a client of mine, and this is something that I feel like we don't spend enough time talking about or thinking about from this particular perspective. Most people, when we think about dating, we think about being on the dating apps, having to go through the tinders, the bumbles, the hinges of the world, people get a lot of angst and worry and anxiety about, about that. And they say, Oh my gosh, like, have you seen the people on there? Or I can't find a conscious man anywhere, whatever those stories are that are coming up for you, I'd like you to just take a moment to put those aside. And I want you to start to think about, instead of I have to be on the apps, think about I get to be on the apps.

This is the law of abundance. Love is so limitless and you are so limitless. These apps are a beautiful vehicle for you to connect with even greater amounts of love that exists on the planet. When we start to think about honoring the energetics of dating, it first starts with choosing your perspective. I get to, I get to tap into the limitless expansiveness of love. I am love. I get to show up and be love is a beautiful place for you to start. When we start to think about the energetics of dating, there's this masculine and feminine energy that exists within both of us. Again, our masculine energy is not separate from our feminine, this energy exists within us. When we can start to integrate these energies into the, into our dating practice, we can create more flow and it can be a much more pleasurable experience.

If you're constantly carrying around this energy of, Oh, I have to be on the dating apps or there are no good men out there. Oh my God, these dates are terrible. Dating is so horrible. What energy do you think you're going to attract? What kind of partners do you think you're going to bring into your field of awareness. It's going to carry all of that negativity along with you, but instead, if you can choose the perspective of, Oh, my partner is out there. I am making myself available to receive love. Thank you for these beautiful lessons that are lining up on the way to connecting me with my partner. The greatest and highest level of love that I can possibly imagine is available to me. And I am so worthy of this. Carrying that energy in will automatically start to shift the people who come into your field.

Coming back to this idea of masculine and feminine energy, I will speak to it from a feminine perspective. If you are of the masculine primary energy, this applies to you as well. And I'll tweak it and give a couple of examples as we go through this. When we start to think about this energy of dating, we want to be able to show up in our feminine energy. If that's your primary essence, you want to be able to flow and feel and drop into your vulnerability. In order to do that, we have to create some structure to allow us to feel what's happening. So that structure, that container of dating is the masculine energy. When we can be meticulous about the energy that we associate with our masculine energy, with this container of dating, the more more structure we will have to be able to flow and to feel.

When we're showing up in on dates, let's say for somebody who is of the feminine essence, one of the biggest faults is that we are afraid to reveal the truth of our hearts. We remain close and we wait until this man deems that he is trustworthy to reveal those depths. That right there will automatically start to block us from being our most radiant free divine, feminine selves. If you are of the masculine essence and you tend to show up, one of those faults tends to be that they overanalyze and they control and they get in their heads and they lose the presence of their bodies. Now, another layer is that if you are of the feminine essence and you are showing up on these dates to try to control them, to overanalyze them and to be so focused on, is this my partner, is this my one true love?

Is this the guy I'm supposed to be with? You're automatically going to be in your masculine energy. You're going to be analyzing. You're going to be thinking. If you want to truly show up to dating in a place of receiving love and being love, stop being so focused on is he the one stop thinking and start feeling. So as we start to think about this, we get to come back to what's our perspective. You get to tap into the limitless, expansive potential of love. You get to be love. So being aware of what your primary energetic essence is and how you want to show up is key in this. If you're of the primary feminine essence, you want to be able to trap into vulnerability with ease. You want to flow. You want to be able to reveal the deeper, most wild, expansive depths of your heart.

If you are of the masculine essence, you want to be grounded in your body. You want to be present conscious and totally in your body. I'm going to say that again. You need to be in your body. The masculine primary masculine essence tends to be so in their head that they're shallow breathers. They're not in their body. And so that allows the feminine to receive that as not trustworthy. And here's something that we'll get into a little bit later, but you evoke that energy of your partner by showing up as your most primary essence. So as the feminine, you will evoke that conscious masculine by you being in your feminine. If you're in your masculine, you're going to automatically, depolarize the relationship. So we live in a world of polarity, whether you are in conscious partnership or you are dating, there's always going to be some element of polarity here, which means one person will amplify the masculine.

One person will surrender into the feminine. What tends to happen was so many of the clients that I've dated. These are bad boss, women, powerhouse, CEOs, executives, and business owners. We show up as the, the, those powerful women in our masculine energy to our dates. We don't know how to drop into our bodies and how to surrender. So, as you're starting to think about this dating energy, what is your primary essence? What do you want that to feel like if you want to be in your most feminine flowing energy, what does that feel like in your body, in your energy? How will you speak? How will you listen? How will you show up? How will you smile? How you laugh, how will you open your heart? If your primary essence is masculine, what does it feel like to be rooted into your body, to be so present, to breathe deeply and expansively into your, to really feel the presence of your divine masculine, feel what that feels like in your body.

The next thing that we want to think about is how do we actually go about the dating world, the dating scene. We've talked about apps. We've talked about working with matchmakers. There are so many different ways to go about dating and whatever you choose. You want to be able to first create some structure, create a container around dating. So first high level, we're always going to start off with our reflection of purpose, intention, and impact. You know, I won't give you anything without reflecting on these three pieces of framework. So we always start off with the purpose. So your purpose is why the are you dating in the first place? Why does it matter? What's the purpose of you dating? Well, I hope your purpose is to open yourself, to receive love and give love, whatever that is.

The next piece we look at is what is your intention? Your intentions are, how do you want to go about this game of dating? How do you want to show up and yourself available to give love and receive love? So what are your intentions? I would hope that your intentions are to have a clear transmission aligned with your purpose. If you are looking for something casual, being able to say, I'm just looking for something casual. I'm not ready to be in a long-term monogamous, committed partnership. That's a clear transmission. Being able to anchor that intention, that you were going to clear, clearly communicate what your purpose is. Maybe another intention of how you're going to show up in this dating space is that you're going to be fully in your primary essence, whether that is your feminine or your masculine, maybe you will also make sure that you're putting a focused amount of time around this.

Transformation happens in containers. If we can focus our time and our energy, we will allow for the greatest transformation that we are fully seeking. Then we'll talk about setting the intentions around the law of abundance and connecting with this limitless, expansive law of abundance. Maybe you also want to set the intention that you want to be open to your intuitive guidance, to be in your body and not settle. Whatever those intentions are. Those are how you want to show up and how you want to go about dating. That's the energy that you will bring. That's your intentions. Why do you want to be dating? Then we go to your intentions. How do you want to actually go about dating? And then the last piece is what is the impact? 

We started talking about our perspective. We talked about our, our understanding, our primary energetic essence, whether that is masculine or feminine. We've talked about some of the common faults that happen, energetically that when we are not in our primary essence, and we've also talked about the fact that we want to create a container. So transformation happens in containers. This is the reflection of our purpose, our intention, and our impact so that we can bring that energy. Now let's actually start to talk about the, how to, how should you actually go about showing up in this energy of dating? Dating can be exhausting, but again, change your perspective.

Let's work backwards. When you are on the dating apps, the hinges, the tinders, the bumbles, I don't even know what else exists out there. Whatever those dating apps are, you have to swipe yes. On a hundred people, okay? Law of abundance, you got to start off with a hundred people. And when you are swiping, you should have some clear intentions around this. You are only swiping yes. On nines and tens. Not you're not settling. You're not going for the eights. You're not going for the sevens. You're not going for the sixes or the fives. You're only swiping on somebody that you feel is a nine or a 10, like don't guess yourself.

This is going to be the structure, the meticulous masculine structure to allow everything else, that beautiful feminine transmission to flow the feminine transmission is the feeling. So whether you are a primary essence masculine, you still want to have a masculine structure to allow you to drop in and connect and be in the moment in this dating process. So what is your process? I think that you, number one are only swiping yes. Or matching with people that are nines and tens. Don't settle. You know, you've heard me talk about this over and over again. My three rules are number one. Don't settle. Number two, feel honored and number three have fun. So that's a huge part of this is yeah. You don't always have to be focused on finding the one, one, you can actually just have fun. Once you put this meticulous structure in place.

That's your goal is to find people that you enjoy being with. As we look at this process, the structure, that's going to give you the space to flow. The other thing to consider with our structure and our process is to create a schedule. Again, transformation happens in containers. If you don't have a container around your dating and your messaging, your app perusing, whatever, or that may be, you're going to be wasting a lot of your energy. So imagine a glass of water without the glass, the water is going to spill and leak everywhere. The same thing goes for your energy. When you are looking at your dating process, create a schedule. Maybe you will only spend 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening, swiping, responding to messages and scheduling FaceTime dates. Again, that's going to give you structure so that you're not constantly looking at your notifications all day long and you're worrying.

Let's use the example of being in the feminine when you are in the feminine primary essence. So many times I hear women say where all the conscious men at, I want to date a really masculine man, a fierce warrior. Great that man, isn't going to show up for you unless you are revealing your feminine essence. The feminine essence will evoke the divine conscious masculine in front of you. So when you are on this date, look at him and see that version of him. That is the divine masculine. That is that ever existing limitless consciousness of the divine masculine. Look at him and see God, that is the way to evoke more masculine presence from him. What you focus on comes true. What you see when you look at him as the masculine energy will allow him to actually step into that power.

For instance, you're on a date and this guy is not in his masculine essence, you notice that he's not breathing. Maybe he's a little bit distracted and in his head, instead of calling him out or writing him off, use this as a practice for you to evoke and reveal that feminine energy that exists within you. If he's distracted, maybe breathe deeper, always, always, always breathe deeper for the feminine, find pleasure in your body. Maybe you start to kind of rock your hips back and forth and gyrate gently on the seat or move that energy of your air and your breath up your spine, or run your fingertips together. Start to focus on your feminine energy, breathe into it. Maybe it's playing with your hair, running your fingers across your collar bone or gently sliding your fingers up and down your wine glass or dance your fingers across the table. 

Start to breathe and focus on pleasure that will automatically evoke more masculine, conscious energy from the man across the table from you. You will see his spine straightened his shoulders, roll back. His breath. Start to deepen because you are evoking that masculine energy by revealing pleasure and feminine energy in your body and stay with it. Be with that energy, allow yourself to breathe and feel that feminine energy and notice what it evokes from your masculine partner.

You get to evoke that primary essence from your partner. It takes you revealing the truth of your heart to allow that person to show up in the primary essence that you are desiring. When you start to look at the energy of dating, it's a practice. It's a practice for you to be in your most primary energetic essence and know that it gets to be fun.

During today's episode I talk about:

  • What energy do you want to attract?
  • How does your mindset impact who you attract?
  • How does masculine and feminine energy play a role in dating? 
  • What questions should you ask yourself when you start dating? 
  • Why is it important to set an intention? 
  • What types of questions can you ask someone you are newly dating? 

Memorable Moments:

  • "If you want to truly show up to dating in a place of receiving love and being love, stop being so focused on is he the one stop thinking and start feeling" -Kendall

In light, in love, and in gratitude, K 

If you loved this episode I’d deeply appreciate you subscribing and leaving a 5 star review and please share this with someone who will resonate with this episode today!
Find out more on my website: www.soulsaturations.com

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