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Episod 43: Honoring Your Self Pleasure Practice

Uncategorized May 24, 2021

Honoring Your Self Pleasure Practice

Hey, welcome back to another episode of Soul Saturations. The podcast today, I am so excited to bring you another solo podcast. We're going to be talking all about one of my favorite topics, self pleasure. When we start to think about self-pleasure masturbation making love to yourself, this can bring up a lot of energy for a lot of people. This episode is going to be released in the last week of May so we are rounding out masturbation May. This is a month that us in the sexual health and wellness industry like to celebrate all things masturbation. It brings up a lot of different perspectives, a lot of different industries and different things to consider. What I want us to start off with is I want you to think about your self-pleasure practice and we can't start to reframe our perspective without first considering where we've been.

When you start to think of masturbation and self pleasure, what's your first reaction? How do you initially respond? Is it something that feels expansive to you? Is that like, ooh, yeah, I love myself pleasure practice or is that something that you get a little bit of contraction and constriction around of like, Ooh, maybe there's some shame and guilt and some stuff that still exists around that. When we can start to consider our beliefs and our perspectives around masturbation and self pleasure, it's really helpful to first start off by looking where your beliefs came from, how were you raised? How did your family talk to you about masturbation and self-pleasure maybe you had a religious upbringing. Maybe there's some shame that exists around that. When we start to think about our beliefs and our perspectives around self-pleasure, they're not always encouraging or powerful to consider.

The beliefs for women around masturbation is oftentimes that it's also shameful. It's also something that can be really guilty so most women don't spend time touching themselves, or if they do, they're not really sure how to do it or what the purpose behind it is.

Now, thankfully society is starting to expand their awareness and their level of comfort. When it comes to self pleasure and masturbation, the vibrator movement has done wonders for women and pleasure across the world because everybody can have a vibrator. Now it's so easy, it's so accessible and at least we're starting to talk about sex, pleasure and masturbation. Now, when we look at a lot of the common societal beliefs around self-pleasure, it still tends to be very goal oriented, very focused on reaching that finish line, reaching the goal of orgasm.

These perspectives that honor our journey of self-pleasure. We want to go a little bit deeper. I talk so much about soul centered sexuality and how to connect on a deeper level, how to drop into your body so that you can really fully embrace and embody the highest version of yourself and have that beautiful connection to source and spirit and your life force energy and I believe that self pleasure is your doorway.

Reflect on our past experiences and our current beliefs around self-pleasure, we're starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together. We're starting to get a full understanding of where we are. One of the things that I would like to question you with is when you are self-pleasuring masturbating, whatever word feels more comfortable to you making love to yourself is one of my personal favorites.

That process where you're following something that tends to be more goal oriented, you're looking for that release. You're looking for that orgasm. You're looking to reach. Maybe you use a vibrator, maybe you don't, but it tends to be that more intense stimulation to reach a peak point.

How does that make you feel afterwards? Do you feel inspired? Do you feel lifted up? Do you feel expansive in all of those energy centers in your body? Or are you feeling kind of like, well, is that it? Is there something more?

I want to offer a few perspectives for you to consider when it comes to self-pleasure masturbation and making love to yourself. As I said, when we can start to shift away from a goal oriented perspective, we can move away from the goal of orgasm. We start to open up deeper levels of pleasure of experiences and connection to self. When you can choose the intention that your self pleasure practice is something that is going to connect you deeper into yourself to connect you deeper into your physical body. Now we're getting somewhere. Now we're starting to explore.

We are naturally sexual beings and pleasure is our divine birthright. It drops us into our physical body. It is the direct channel to the source, spirit and energy and when we start to think about our sexual energy, that moves through us, that is constantly running through us. That is our creative life force energy. It is how we show up with passion and vitality and just a lust for life. So those of us who don't have a really healthy self pleasure practice can often feel our sexual energy be quite stifled. That also means that our creativity can be somewhat stifled. So self-pleasure is a great way for us to connect with that energy. Now, I've talked a lot about the four centers of your body, where we talk about our mind, our heart, our gut, and our sex center. When we started the meditation at the beginning of this recording, I asked you to breathe all the way down into your sex center.

Self pleasure is a way for you to move that energy. When you can start to move this energy up into your belly, up into your heart space, up to clear your mind, mind, you will feel clarity. You will feel confidence. You will feel creativity. You will feel passion. You will feel all around sound like the best version of yourself. This energy that exists within us is a way that we can connect to our highest selves and this wisdom that exists within our body, we get to access through our self-pleasure practice. Our self pleasure practice is a way to connect with us. The highest version of you, what feels good, all the things that make you feel clear. But as we start, start to look at our journeys of self-pleasure, again, not everybody has a super healthy perspective or loving and open, welcoming perspective of self pleasure.

Our self-pleasure practice can be a way for us to drop into that internal wisdom of, of your body. And it's a way for us to release some stuck emotion. I talked how orgasm can be a release, and sometimes that's exactly what you are craving, and that's what you're longing for And that's okay. when we can look at the deeper levels of our pleasure, we can actually connect with the energy that exists in our sex center. We hold a lot of our emotional stress, our daily stress tension trauma. We hold a lot of that in our sex centers. So for both men and women, it's really common to experience pain during sex, or just a tightening and too much tension and energy that gets stuck within our pelvic floor muscles and within our sex center.

Using self pleasure as a way to connect with that energy as a way that we can start to release some of that energy. I'll speak to that a little bit more when I get into some of the different techniques of touch in your self pleasure practice, and being able to connect with these different reasons, these different ways to start to think about why should your self pleasure practice exist in the first place? As you know, I'm very much a big teacher around the framework of purpose, intention and impact you guessed it. Take the time to reflect on your purpose, your intention, and your impact of your self pleasure practice. Why would you want to have a self pleasure practice in the future? Why does it matter?

I believe in solo pleasure, moving away from the goal of orgasm, and guess what, here's the secret. When you move away from the goal oriented, focused focus of orgasm, you tend to have more orgasms because you're not thinking about it. I promise.

If you are dating and you're not in a committed partnership or relationship, it's going to help you feel more at ease with yourself. And it's going to help, you know, that you can experience pleasure for yourself and you don't have to wait for somebody else to give that to. Now, if you are in a committed relationship, a partnership, maybe you have multiple partners, but if you're in some sort of committed relationship, I personally am in a heterosexual monogamous relationship. I believe that there is so many benefits from each of us having a healthy self pleasure practice. Some of those benefits are, again, we're releasing some of those stuck energies and emotions that I've talked about so that when we have sex, you're already in a more receptive state. It already feels it's so good so that's one benefit. Another benefit is that you, you know what feels good.

You can have that connection to yourself so that when you're making love to your partner, you can say, and moan and ease into the things that feel good or you can say, yes, baby, that feels great. Can you go a little bit slower or baby love when you touch me like this, based on your self pleasure practice, you will know how you want to experience pleasure with your partner and you'll probably be a little bit more confident communicating, but that's a whole nother story. We'll come back to that. So as you are reflecting on your self-pleasure practice, again, always start with your purpose. Why do you want to do it? What are your intentions? How do you want to go about that? And what results, what impact is that going to have on your life and on your relationships? Let's talk a little bit about how do we act, actually go about having a self-pleasure practice.

The next component I want to talk about is breath. Again, we started this episode by breathing really deeply and expansively all the way down into your pelvic floor. So this is for both men and women. We tend to be really shallow breathers. We only breathe up into our chest. We rarely breathe into our belly as an even less breathe into our sex centers. I want you to think about your inhalations and your breathing to be expansive, to expand everything out. And here's what you can do. You can take two fingers and stick it on your paraniem. 

As you expand your breath, you should feel your pelvic floor muscles expand out and push against your fingers on your exhales. Think about lifting your pelvic floor muscles. Owners, this would be, imagine taking your balls to your belly button for your owners. You're thinking about breathing up and lifting your pelvic floor muscles. You will feel that with your fingers as you touch yourself. Take a few of these deeply expansive breasts. As you were starting, your self pleasure practice. So you're inhaling to expand and you are exhaling to lift and running that energy up the back of your spine. Inhale energy runs down your front into that expansive space, exhales lift that energy up the back of your spine. When you think about your breath and this movement, you want to start to think that has your self-pleasuring.

You can breathe into maybe places that feel tightness or tension, which we'll get into as we actually start talking about touch, but your breath will help you drop in. The breath is the King of the brain, the brain's the King of the body. The more that we can use our breath to control our nervous system and drop into that parasympathetic state, we will be more relaxed and we can feel the pleasure that exists within our bodies. We've talked about movement. We've talked about breath. Other favorite thing to talk about when it comes to experiencing pleasure and moving our sexual energy is sound so, how many of you have ever watched a porn or seen it on TV? Kind of like fake sounds. That's not what sex needs to sound like. Sex can be wild and messy and it can cover the entire range of emotions. Sound is a way to expand and amplify your pleasure when you can breathe deeply, think about an audible exhale. if you breathe in, make a sound on your exhale, ah, actually make a sound. We'll help you amplify it. If our throat is open, our cervix and our vagina will be more open to experience. Pleasure. Sound is a beautiful way to amplify it. You may want to yell. You may want to cry. You may want to scream. You may want to laugh, let whatever energy is moving through you out. And the more that you can make, those sounds to amplify what you were feeling.

If you're in a partnered relationship, communicate it to your partner so you don't feel like you're going to have interruptions or distractions and making that commitment to yourself because you should make your pleasure a priority. Now, if you loved this episode, I have so much information that you can also download my free guide to self-pleasure. I will also add that link in the bottom of the show notes. And if this feels like a lot for you and you want a deeper connection with your body, a deeper connection with your pleasure, please reach out to me. You can either connect with me via email. You can schedule a free discovery call. You can always reach me on Instagram. Let's schedule a call. Let's set up a deeper coaching session so that we can dive in. We can work through those past beliefs that you have and help you come up with a process and a plan, a practice that feels so good to you so that you can connect with your own soul centered sexuality. Again, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you so much to our guides for holding this space and I can't wait to connect.

During today's episode I talk about:

  • How can you reframe your perspective around self pleasure?
  • What are some of the common beliefs around masturbation and self-pleasure?
  • How can your upbringing impact your beliefs around self-pleasure?
  • How can we move away from goal-oriented pleasure?
  • Why is it important to set an intention when starting a self pleasure practice? 
  • How can you use your breath in your self pleasure practice?

Memorable Moments:

  • "The beliefs for women around masturbation is oftentimes that it's also shameful. It's also something that can be really guilty so most women don't spend time touching themselves, or if they do, they're not really sure how to do it or what the purpose behind it is."
  • "These perspectives that honor our journey of self-pleasure. We want to go a little bit deeper. I talk so much about soul centered sexuality and how to connect on a deeper level, how to drop into your body so that you can really fully embrace and embody the highest version of yourself and have that beautiful connection to source and spirit and your life force energy and I believe that self pleasure is your doorway."
  • "When you can choose the intention that your self pleasure practice is something that is going to connect you deeper into yourself to connect you deeper into your physical body. Now we're getting somewhere. Now we're starting to explore."
  • "We are naturally sexual beings and pleasure is our divine birthright. It drops us into our physical body. It is the direct channel to the source, spirit and energy and when we start to think about our sexual energy, that moves through us, that is constantly running through us. That is our creative life force energy."
  • "Self pleasure is a way for you to move that energy. When you can start to move this energy up into your belly, up into your heart space, up to clear your mind, mind, you will feel clarity. You will feel confidence. You will feel creativity. You will feel passion. You will feel all around sound like the best version of yourself."

In light, in love, and in gratitude, K 

If you loved this episode I’d deeply appreciate you subscribing and leaving a 5 star review and please share this with someone who will resonate with this episode today!
 
Find out more on my website: www.soulsaturations.com

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